Have you ever been lonely?

The Copihue, or Chilean Bell flower, is the national flower of Chile. Yet, strangely, not many Chileans have actually seen it in person. It grows in only a few of Chile’s southern regions and rarely has more than a few blossoms per vine. The Copihue vine is so slender that it needs the support of fences or other trees, yet the blossom is large and beautiful. Many people might identify with the Copihue, because they are not the biggest, nor strongest, nor the most popular among their peers. But just because you may not be the center of a crowd of admirers, does not mean that you do not have great value as an individual. The following poem describes the feeling of loss due to the departure of a friend and the wisdom that I learned from a wind-blown bush.

             HUSH
            By Al Vester

“Hush,” said the bush as the breeze blew by,
“Hush for my heart has started to cry.”
The winds from the south will bring the rain,
And the wind from the north may bring sharp pain
Of frigid snows and frost-bit toes.
But the hardest breeze there is to bear
Is the one that says our love’s not there.
When they’re swept away like a thistle down,
The wind never says where they’ll be found.
No trace is left but the puff of dust
            That drifts on by
And leaves in its wake a dying sigh.
It mourns for the loss of the one that has flown
On the wings of the wind and left us alone.
Alone with the wail of the wind in our ears
Like the formless voice of a thousand tears.
And only a bush growing green and lush
Is wise enough to tell it “Hush.”

In my youth, I daily endured a forty-five-minute bus ride to the county seat where my high school was located. The bus was not often full, which allowed everyone a choice of seats, but occasionally someone would sit next to me. Just having a little company was a highlight for me. I was then a poor farm kid living ten miles from town and a half a mile from our own mail box. Rural outsiders were not well received by the city kids at school, and loners were considered easy targets by bullies. So, a little company, even if short on conversation, was a welcome relief from being always alone. Yet this loneliness was partly my own fault, for the more I withdrew from others to keep from being hurt, the less opportunities I allowed myself to find and make friends. Psychological walls can be just as formidable barriers separating people as those made of brick or stone.

So many people in this world feel separated from family and friends. They feel that they have no friends at all, only acquaintances who come and go. I was one of those lonely people. If only I had been a little wiser, I would have noticed that even my cat would purr when I took the time to stroke her fur. And, the cows seemed happy to see me as I brought their hay and curried the burrs out of their hair. Had I learned this simple lesson, that even animals appreciate a little kindness and service, and then applied that lesson to my classmates, I would have had more friends. Instead, I put a shell around myself and longed for better surroundings. Just a little more courage and friendliness on my part would have done much to change my surroundings, instead of passively waiting for a friendlier world. Only years later did I come to realize that I needed to be a friend to have friends. If you want to have someone talk with you, simply start talking to them. Usually, the best and most successful conversations are those in which you ask questions about that person’s life. What are their favorite activities, their hopes, and their dreams? As you come to know that other person, you will appreciate the challenges and unique attributes that are theirs. Then, surely as day follows night, they will also want to know about you, your hopes, dreams, and interests. Kindness and concern for another will build trust and appreciation, then almost magically a friend will be gained.

True, there will be those with shells around them who may turn you away in the first few attempts at being friendly. But consistent kindness and genuine concern for those you meet on the road of life will open the hearts of your fellow travelers. I write this not by way of theory, but by way of experience. As we open our hearts to those around us to care about them and their lives, to rejoice in their successes, and mourn with them in their disappointments, bonds of trust and appreciation will grow and brighten both our life and theirs as well.

Author: Al

Native of Oregon, I served on a submarine during the Vietnam war. I have been an accountant and an information security administrator. Now, I am a retired grandpa hoping to say something that might encourage a little more kindness in this world. View all posts by Al